


Bloody Knuckles

by 1967PotterImpala, KaitlynSpeight, SammySammyDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I DIDN'T MEAN TO I JUST LIKE PROPOSALS OKAY, Kidnapping, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5779735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1967PotterImpala/pseuds/1967PotterImpala, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaitlynSpeight/pseuds/KaitlynSpeight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammySammyDean/pseuds/SammySammyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester has never been able to catch a break, so when he's given a chance at a new life, he isn't sure he trusts it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if this is slow coming, my darling and I have clashing schedules so communication is slow. We will try to update as often as possible!  
> ~KaitlynSpeight

Not for the first time, Benny sat back in his chair wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He was a reasonably attractive man, he was confident, successful, and kind. He spent his days working at the restaurant and by all rights he should spend his nights having fun. He would much rather be at home reading, or talking to the chef and perfecting his new menus, maybe even out hunting for a new partner, but what he should absolutely not be doing is sitting in a dank bar babysitting some transient child. The man had nothing going for him, he was rude, loud, vulgar, and just generally uncivilized; Benny could admit he was a handsome boy, but he couldn't be older than twenty-four, and thirteen years of a gap was far too much even if the kid wasn't such a prick.

The man had short blond hair and green eyes, and was no different from any other self destructive asshole you come across on the bar scene. He picked fights, drank too much, and often disappeared into the men’s room, although for drugs or sex was never clear. No matter how you looked at it, he was an ass, but there was nothing noteworthy about him. So why was it Benny was so fixated on this man? There was something about the younger man that just rubbed him the wrong way, other than his belligerent, standoffish nature. There was something underneath it all, something Benny couldn’t see, but knew was there all the same.

It wasn’t that Benny was following the kid, it was just that it was hard to miss him. He was loud, so fucking loud, and he was at the bar every. Single. Night. No, there was no way to miss him, even if you tried, and it wasn’t like Benny was exactly doing that either. He kept an eye on the kid, though he couldn’t justify why, even to himself. He never let him know either, just sat quietly in his corner, nursing a beer, and making sure that the kid never got in too far over his head. He was good in a fight, but he wasn’t the strongest by any means, and Benny, for whatever reason, didn’t want to kid to get his skull knocked in, although objectively: it might be just what he needs.

So, like every other night this week, Benny finds himself in the corner booth of Thursday’s, can of Bud in hand as he watches the other patrons mill around him. He takes a sip, grimacing at the taste, he’d much prefer a good whiskey, but he couldn’t afford that every night, nor did he want to be drunk if the kid needed help. Currently the blond was missing from view, vanished into the men’s room with shady looking man no more than five minutes ago. If he was gone too much longer he would get off his ass and go drain the lizard, make sure no one was dead in a bathroom stall, but the kid was usually gone for at least ten, so he’d let it go a little longer.

It only took another minute for them to come out, the green eyed man immediately wandering to the bar and ordering a new drink. He did it for money, then. That was better than the alternative, he supposed, sipping his beer. Nothing about this man was special, and he was absolutely not someone Benny should take any interest in, and he tried every night to walk away. He would get as far as the door, before flashes of the man in a hospital bed - or morgue - would have him spinning on his heel and sitting his ass back on that bench seat.

Benny sighed, watching the man down whatever was in his glass and tap the bar, signaling for a refill. The kid should really learn when to stop, he was already drunk, but Benny knew he wouldn’t, knew he was going to keep up until the barkeep cut him off. After that it was anyone’s guess if he would go out to the alley and light up, or pick a fight with the first person that caught his eye. Not for the first time, Benny wondered what had happened in his life to bring him to this point, but it didn’t seem he would ever get his answer. 

He finished off his beer and sighed, playing with the can and letting his mind wonder. He was sure if a fight broke out he would be made aware, the kid was never quiet when he instigated something. Honestly it was a wonder the boy hadn’t been banned yet. He must bring good money to the bar though, whether he earned it by selling himself in the dirty bathroom or not. Money makes the world go round, who cares what you have to go through for loyal business?

“The fuck are you looking at, old man?” Benny blinked, looking up at the blond, green eyes narrowed in anger. Ah, so he was to be the victim tonight. “I’m not gonna fight you, kid, why don’t you just go home?” He sighed, that wasn’t going to do any good. “Come on, asshole, you think you can just stare at me. I’m not some piece of meat- that is, unless you wanna pay.” His entire demeanor changed in the span of a second, false bravado melting away as he batted his long eyelashes. “I’m worth every penny,” he breathed, sliding into the booth next to Benny.

The older man sighed, “I’m not interested, do you need a ride or something?” The man put a hand on Benny’s thigh, slowly sliding it up to his slowly thickening dick - the treacherous bastard. “You certainly feel interested,” he purred, “the name’s Sam , why don’t you come to the bathroom with me, blow job’s only forty. No gag-” Benny took the kids wrist and gently moved his hand, “how about I take you out for a decent meal instead?” 

Dean narrowed his eyes, “I eat just fine without handouts, thanks.” He snarled, climbing out of the booth. Benny got up as well, he really did need to piss now, but the kid - Sam - got the wrong idea, spinning around sloppily and jabbing at Benny’s gut. Benny easily caught the fist and twisted it behind his back, “I’m not going to fight you, kid, just drop it.” He kept his voice calm, holding him for a second longer before letting go, the kid falling to the floor in front of him. Sam glared up at him, standing up and brushing off his jeans, “not worth my time anyway,” he grumbled, stomping off and out the door. 

As far as first meetings go, that could have gone better. Benny sighed and headed to the bathroom, at least he could go home now. The kid would scurry off to wherever he went when he wasn’t at the bar, he wouldn’t have to worry about him until the next night, eight o’clock sharp, just like every night, not that he kept track. Except he did. 

He splashed some water on his face, grumbling to himself. One of these days he’s break himself of this. It wasn’t like it was bothering anyone else, the bar got his money, the kid wouldn’t get himself killed… Well, at least not in a bar fight. Sue him, he had a soft spot for the giant asshole, he didn’t want someone so young to end up dead in a ditch somewhere. Maybe the kid would step up and turn himself around one of these days. Maybe, if Benny got another chance to talk to him, he could help with that, give him a job at the restaurant. Maybe he could… No he wouldn’t go down that line of thought. He was just keeping an eye out. That’s all it would ever be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is rethinking the strangers offer after he ends up in bed with another John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo we're alive again! Sorry both of us have been absolutely swamped, hopefully we'll be posting more frequently soon <3  
> -Kaitlyn

“who the fuck does that guy think he is?” Dean grumbles to himself, laying down on the motel bed, his partner for the night having gone to the bathroom. Hopefully the older man would let him stay the night, he didn’t feel like finding a spot to sleep on the street this late, all the best -safest- places would already be taken. Not that he cared about something like safety, if someone wanted to kill him let them, save him the chore later on.

 

“Hey, Sam?” Dean closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep as the man - hadn’t he said his name was Luke? - walked back into the room. “Sam I’m, oh,” he stopped when he saw Dean’s closed eyes and sighed, “whatever, it can wait till morning.” Luke crawled into bed, not touching Dean - thankfully - as he settled himself in. The second the light had been turned out and Luke’s breathing evened out Dean’s eyes snapped open, watching the room spin. 

 

He didn’t want to touch that man again, he wasn’t sure if he was hungover, or it was just the thought of how the man had touched him, every inch of him, leaving him feeling utterly filthy, before he finally put him out of his misery and just fucked him. Dean sighed, holding his hand in front of his face and watching it slowly twist and churn like the rest of the room, still drunk, couldn’t be the hangover. Maybe he should have taken that other man up on the offer, a hot meal sounded good.

 

Dean closes his eyes, trying desperately to will back the tears, Sam, Sam, why had he chosen Sam. His poor baby brother. He didn’t deserve to have his name used like this, to be remembered as the whore who sucked men off in the bathroom of bars to pay for his next drink. Who slept on the street unless he could find someone to take him to a cheap motel and fuck him into the mattress. At least this John hadn’t skipped out while Dean pretended he was asleep, wouldn’t be the first time he had gotten used without pay. 

 

Maybe if he saw that man from the bar again he would see if the offer was still open, a meal did sound really good. But he doubted someone would offer him something like that more than once, especially when he had acted like he had in response. 

 

Maybe though, maybe he could afford to hope. He didn't have much left to be hopeful for, not after Sam, not after everything. The most he had to look forward to was a decent motel room and a fast John. But... He could pretend.

Maybe he'd see the man again. Maybe the offer would still be open. Maybe he wouldn't be left hungry and used in some strange bed at the end of the night. Maybe he would even- no. No he wouldn't go that far. He couldn't afford to get his hopes up that high. 

Dean closed his eyes, trying to quell the nausea building in his stomach. Maybe he should just leave, but no, he needed the money. He needed to get out of this life. But how could he? What other job could he do while remaining numb to the world? He couldn't face it. His baby brother was dead. Killed because he hadn't been fast enough. Because he hadn't been good enough.

If he had only managed to make more money, Sammy wouldn't have tried what he did. He wouldn't have wound up in that alley. That knife wouldn't have... His baby brother. He had been in so much pain, staring up at Dean, begging him to make it stop. To make the hurt go away. But Dean hadn't been good enough, too late, his fault.

Dean whimpered to himself, standing up and stumbling to the bathroom, hurling the meager contents of his stomach half into the toilet bowl and half onto the floor. So much blood. He could never forget the look in little Sammy's eyes. So much hope, Dean would make it go away, Dean could fix anything. His big brother, he would make it alright.

Dean shook his head, whimpering miserably, retching again, the vomit splashing up his bare legs. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't. He could almost feel his body shutting down. 

He collapsed to the floor, curling in on himself in the puddle of vomit. He needed help, but who could he turn to? No one would help someone like him. He didn't even have money for food, what the hell could he do? He was nothing better then a low-life cock whore. No one would offer him anything.

Except that man. He had offered something. And Dean had been a giant bitch in return. For the first time in years, Dean felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Why had he been such an ass? He could have said yes, it wasn't like it would hurt his pride. He had none left, he had driven himself into the ground, there was no shame left in him. 

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Tomorrow. He would look for him tomorrow. It would be okay, he was just proof that maybe someone could be kind to him. Was willing to offer him something. 

He fell asleep, for the first time in years, with his heart filled with hope. 

The next morning did little to help that hope though. He woke up in a cold pile of bile, his entire body aching and terrifyingly sober. He sat up and looked around, the John was still asleep. Good. 

He clambered in the shower, cleaning the vomit off of himself and drying himself off. He went on a hunt for his clothes, finding everything except a sock, which he wrote off as a lost cause, before waking his John with a practiced distance. 

"Hey, man, I've gotta get out of here. Can you pay up?" The John grumbled, then nodded, "yeah yeah, here." He felt around on the floor for his jeans, digging a wad of cash out of the pocket and handing it to Dean. Dean smiled, nodding, he didn't bother checking if it was all there. He didn't care. He just wanted to be out of that room.

He closed the door behind him, running as soon as he was out of view from the other man. He needed a drink. Or ten. He walked down the sidewalk, smirking at anyone who stared too long. Fuck 'em. Hell if he cared. He knew what he was, knew how he looked. He was used to the glances people would cast at him, pity, disgust, as if they knew. As if they could understand. 

He would most definitely be heading to the bar early that night. Maybe the man would be there. Maybe maybe maybe. But would he even be able to approach him? He hadn’t talked to anyone as himself since Sam, but maybe this man… Maybe he would listen, maybe…. Maybe he could help, maybe he would understand. Or at least try to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny has Dean over for dinner, Dean talks more than either of them planned.

He was late. Really late. There had been an issue with the oven, and he had to sort out an entirely new ‘special’ menu that worked around it. On an hours notice. With what they had on hand. Then make sure everything was running smoothly, and make sure the man he hired to fix the bloody thing had everything he needed. He glanced at his watch while he hurried along, walking as quickly as dignity allowed into the bar. Almost an hour late. But it was still early, hopefully Sam wouldn’t be drunk enough to be an idiot yet. 

But of course he would be. Of course the one night Benny wasn’t there the little shit would get into trouble. Of fucking course he would walk in to find the boy standing up from where he had been crumpled on the floor before charging back at a man twice his size. 

He shoved his way through the crowd, grabbing Sam by the collar and shoving Mr. He-Man back. “I’ll take care of him, man, just go get a drink.” The other man was -thankfully- sober enough to simply nod, letting the fight end at that, and heading back to the bar. Sam, on the other hand, not so much. He wrenched himself from Benny’s grip, shoving his way through the crowd and out the back door.

Benny followed, the crowd parting for him as he chased after the younger man. “Sam. Sam! What the hell, brother, what were you thinking?!” He grabbed Sam’s arm, forcing him to a stop before he could flee the scene. “What the fuck does it matter to you, grandpa?” Benny rolled his eyes, jerking Sam to face him. “You’re gonna get yourself fucking killed, kid!” Dean rolled his eyes, “like it fucking matters. No one would miss me.” 

Benny visibly sagged, sighing, “come on,” he dragged Sam along by the arm, gracelessly shoving him in his car and climbing in himself, pressing the child lock. “The fuck are you taking me? You gonna kill me or something you’re too late, I’ve been dead a long time.” Benny closed his eyes, sending out a brief prayer for strength and starting his car, driving back in the direction of his restaurant. 

“I’m not gonna kill you, Sam,” Sam grumbled, “sounds like something someone who was gonna kill me would say.” Benny couldn’t help but chuckle, so the kid did have a sense of humor. “I had to close up early tonight, issues with my oven, I’m gonna whip you up something to eat. What happens after that is up to you.” The kid crosses his arms, but seems to relax, “fine.” 

Benny pulls up in front of the dark building, “you gonna run when I unlock the car?” The kid shrugged, “nowhere to run to.” Bloody hell, what has this man been through. Benny groans, rubbing his hands down his face, “alright, follow me.” He nods and Benny unlocks the car doors, walking out and pulling out his keys. Sam briefly looks around like a caged animal, but he does trail after the older man, if somewhat reluctantly.

“What do you like?” Sam rolled his eyes, “you think I’m in a place to be picky?” Benny shrugged, “right now? Yeah.” Sam flopped down in a booth, whimpering, and Benny wonders how bad the fight was before he got there. “Something edible,” he finally quipped, and Benny chuckled, “fine. Stay here, Sam, I’ll go find something.”

“Dean,” the boy mumbled quietly. Benny turned back to him, “huh?” Dean looked down, “my name… it’s Dean. Sam was my little brother.” Benny nodded, smiling to himself, “alright, Dean, I’ll be right back.” Dean nods, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked even younger like that, the poor kid. 

Benny walked back to the kitchen, scrounging up some chicken alfredo and heating it in the microwave. The chef in him cringed but he couldn’t very well give the kid something cold, and his entire stove was out of commission. Bloody fucking idiots. He grabbed the plate and a cup of soda, some tea for himself, and headed back out. 

Dean was exactly where he left him, legs tucked to his chest, chin resting on his knees. He looked so small, broken. Benny bit his lip, what was he getting himself into. “Hey, brother.” He called quietly, pulling Dean gently from his thoughts. Shockingly, Dean smiled at him, letting his feet fall to the ground. “Thanks,” He said, taking the plate and cup, eagerly digging in.

Benny chuckles, sipping at his tea while Dean inhales his food. “So you work here? Will you get in trouble?” Dean asked, finishing his plate and settling back, sipping at his cola. “I own this place, so it’s unlikely. My top chef is a tough one, though, so maybe.” Dean’s eyes widen, “this is yours?” Benny nods, “I cook in my free time but usually it’s just my job to keep the place up and running, keep up to code and do the books. The boring shit.” 

Dean nods, gulping down another mouthful of cola. “You have anything harder?” He asked shyly, and Benny sighed, “yes, but you can’t have any. Not right now at least.” Dean nodded, biting his lip. It seemed like he was trying to keep himself in check. Good. Maybe he could get somewhere. 

“So, why’d you tell me your real name?” Dean closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, “you didn’t want anything from me.” He sighed, “And I don’t like being called Sam.” Benny nodded knowingly, “you said he was your little brother, what happened?” Dean shook his head, “Sammy, he… He tried to do what I do. He… We needed the money. 

“I wasn’t… Good enough to make enough for us. I didn’t know he… He was too nice for this life. Too trusting. He… I found him. They hurt him. He asked me to make it stop… take away the pain. He trusted me to make it better, but I wasn’t good enough, couldn’t help him. He…” He pulled his wallet out, pulling out a tattered picture and staring at it longingly. “Was my baby brother…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean opens up some more, and Benny is a precious cinnamon bun.

Benny was silent, and Dean eventually handed over the picture, letting Benny see the boy, who couldn’t be older than sixteen. “He was just a kid when they did it. Stabbed him, he bled out in my arms. He was just a kid…” Benny gently takes Dean’s hand in his. He doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing to say. `I’m sorry` won’t bring Sam back. Instead he just listens. 

 

“Our dad walked out on us,” Dean tightened his grip on Benny’s fingers. “I was eighteen. Took care of us. I had a job at a garage… for a while. When that didn’t pay enough, I started looking for something else. When that didn’t work, I sold what I had, including myself. It worked for a while. Then my boss found out. Fired me that day. After that… I couldn’t get enough for the two of us.

 

“I went out every night, after Sammy was in bed, did what I could, we lost our place, barely had enough for food. Half the time I didn’t eat.” He was crying now, and still, Benny just sat in silence, holding his hand, anchoring him to reality. 

 

“At first, Sammy had no idea. He knew we were bad off, and we lived on the streets, but he thought I ate just as much as him, thought I had the same blankets and clothes, but I gave everything I could to him. Once he found out… Apparently he started… What I was doing.

 

“He went out whenever I wasn’t around, let people…. He was too good for that. I should have put him in foster care, shoulda given him something better, but he was my baby brother… wanted to take care of him…” Dean sniffed, and Benny got up, sliding into the booth beside him, not letting go of his hand.

 

“We were in the same area the whole time and I never had any idea. Not till… He screamed, heard it from the road, found him in an ally.” Dean sagged against Benny’s solid frame, not sure if he trusted him to hold him up or just didn’t care if he let him fall. “`Make it stop, Dean, it hurts, make it stop.` He trusted me. Thought I could take the pain away. But I wasn’t enough, wasn’t ever enough for him.”

 

Benny wrapped an arm around the smaller man’s shoulder, trying to will the tears from his own eyes as Dean sobbed against him. “He loved you, that much is obvious, it sounds to me like you did everything you could for him.” Dean tensed, but didn’t pull away. “I was shit. I should have known what he was doing, I should have taken him someplace, there were things I could have done.” 

 

Benny tightens his grip, this might be a huge mistake, but he had to try, Dean had opened up to him, that had to mean something, didn’t it? “Sam loved you, I’m sure he still does. I didn’t know him, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want you living like this. You’re gonna get yourself killed.” Dean was silent, sniffling into Benny’s shoulder, fists clenching and unclenching on the table. Finally he sat up, meeting Benny’s eyes for the first time since they met. “At least then I’d get to be with him.”

Benny shook his head, “do you think he would want that? Dean, you knew him, not me, but do you really think he would want you to throw your life away? Drink yourself into oblivion, just so you could be with him?” Dean growled, face hardening, “that’s right, you  _ didn’t  _ know him. You don’t know what he’d want.” Benny moved back, giving the boy his space, until he crumpled back into himself.

 

“He wouldn’t… But I don’t have anything else. I don’t have any money. I don’t have a job, no one will hire a cock-whore like me. I barely have a G.E.D. This is the best I can do.” Benny let Dean collapse back against him, gnawing on his lip. 

 

Well. _Shit_.

 

“Stay with me.” He mutters, and Dean shot back on the bench, staring at the older man, “what?” Benny offers his hands, smiling when Dean grabs onto them, still staring wide-eyed. “I make more than enough to afford it, I have the space. Just until you get back on your feet.” 

 

Dean works his jaw, considering. “I ain’t a freeloader.” Benny shakes his head, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s knuckles, trying to calm him. Pissing the boy off wouldn’t do at the moment, not if he wanted this to work out.

 

“You can work here, busboy. I’ll take your boarding out of your salary.” 

 

They were both aware he wouldn’t conceivably make nearly enough to have an actual paycheck after paying Benny for room and board, but… they could pretend, as long as Benny was willing. “Yeah… Yeah, alright, that could work.” Dean nodded, a small smile breaking out on his lips. 

 

Benny beams, squeezing Dean’s fingers before letting his hands fall from his grasp. “Let me clean up really quick?” Dean nods, gathering up their dishes, “I’ll help.” Benny smiles, guiding him to the back and letting wash up the dishes in the large sink and put them away. Dean was beaming proudly by the time he was done, he hadn’t actually done much of anything, but Benny was absolutely not complaining.

 

Dean turned back to Benny, linking his arm with the older man’s, “look, I’m sorry about the things I said last night I-” Benny cut him off, smiling, “I know.” 

 

Dean nods, leaning against him as the head out of the building. Benny locks the door behind them, and they separate to climb into his car. “We’ll get you some new clothes tomorrow, yeah?” Dean smiles, accepting it without a word. Who knows how far Benny’s generosity will go, he better not push it. He settles back into his seat, and Benny starts the car smiling at him gently. This might not be too bad, after all. 

 

“Let’s go home.”


	5. Chapter 5

When Dean woke up the next morning to find Benny in the kitchen cooking them both breakfast he wasn’t sure what to think. He had been convinced last night had been a dream. Something he wanted but could never have, but here he was, in a pair of Benny’s too big pajama pants, while the man himself was offering him a plate of pancakes, bare chested and smiling comfortably as if he wasn’t sharing his house with a whore.

 

“Th...thank you.” Dean stammers, accepting the plate and sitting shyly at the table, waiting for Benny to join him before digging into the pile. Benny shrugs, taking a bite out of his own stack, and Dean settled back into his chair, trying desperately to hide how nervous he really is.

 

Benny, the bastard he is, notices anyway, and sets down his fork, turning his full attention to the man across from him. “What’s wrong, Dean?” Dean shrinks in his chair, shit. If he says something… it might make Benny realize… And he’ll get kicked out, but he can’t just ignore him either. Fuck.

 

Benny waits patiently for Dean to meet his eyes, before offering a hand, “relax, tell me what’s going on.” He tries his best to keep his voice calm, willing the panic to leave the other’s eyes. “Are… you sure you’re okay being seen with...someone like me?” Benny sighs, nodding towards their barely touched food. “Let’s eat, then we’ll talk, alright?” Dean squeezes Benny’s hand briefly before turning back to his breakfast, “yeah okay.”

 

By the time they finish, Dean has worked himself into a panic. _what if Benny’s gonna kick him out, what if he decided Dean’s right, he’s nothing, dirty, horrible._ Benny stands slowly, stretching, and leading the way to the couch, sitting heavily down and turning to face Dean, who slowly sinks onto the couch, trying to take up as little space as possible.

 

“Dean, I want you to listen to me, ‘lright?” Dean nods slowly, trying to hide his shaking hands in his lap, but Benny notices and gently cups Dean’s hands in his. “Tell me, what do you _think_ I think of you?” Dean works his jaw, clenching his fists, “I… Think… Uh, that I’m… Dirty. Pathetic. You probably pity me, I… Can’t think of any other reason you’d have let me stay here last night. But now you’re probably realizing I’m not worth it, that I’m a filthy cockwhore and you’re… Probably trying to think of how to kick me out before I embarrass you in front of someone you know.”

 

Benny is silent while Dean spoke, smiling weakly at the honestly, but by the time he finished he felt his heart breaking for the boy. “You are so far off the mark, brother. Dirty is the last thing I think of you.” Dean looked up, staring at Benny like he had lost his mind, and Benny smiled gently at him, rubbing his thumb over Dean’s knuckles in an attempt to calm him.

 

“Brave maybe, strong. Not many people could do what you did to survive, wouldn’t have lived through everything you have. You’ve been through hell, and you’re still here, standing strong. You climbed out the other side, and you’re alive. You’re not a.. a cockwhore. You did what you had to to, and it’s okay. I am not going to kick you out, and I’m not embarrassed to be around you. If anyone has something to say they can go through me, ‘lright? You don’t have to put up with that bullshit anymore.”

 

Dean hadn’t realized he was crying until Benny wiped the tears from his cheeks. “What do you say you go shower, I’ll see if I can find something that might fit you for after and we can go get you your own clothes.” Dean nods slowly, “don’t you have work?” Benny shrugs, pulling himself off the sofa, “perks of owning a business, I can leave it to my employees. You’re more important right now, anyway. Go wash up.”

  
Benny’s smile lit up all kinds of feelings in his gut he thought were long dead, and he hurried out of the room after a mumbled, ‘thank you’. This was either going to be really good, or really bad, but one thing was certain, he was gonna stick with it. He wanted to prove to Benny he was worth all of this, prove to Sam that maybe his big brother is good for something, maybe even prove to himself he isn't a failure, it seemed impossible, but he finally has a chance to at least _try._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean starts work, and he and Benny have another little heart to heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, a couple changes. Details at the end of the chapter. Sorry <3

By the end of the day, Benny had bought Dean an entirely new wardrobe - much to the younger’s protests - and shown him around the restaurant, describing his job - mostly washing dishes and making sure all the supplies were stocked for the chefs.

 

It wasn’t a lot, but it was something he could do while he looked for something else. Something he could feel proud about it. 

 

He started work the next day, and Benny would smile every time Dean did a circuit of the back, picking up dirty utensils and carting them back to the sink, washing them, and redistributing them. The boy was far happier doing so than anyone Benny had ever hired before, although... he was sure this beat what Dean used to do by a mile. 

 

By the time they got busy, later in the afternoon, Dean had made friends with a couple of the chefs on staff for the night, and Benny couldn’t help standing off to the side, watching him tease the boys before walking back to his part of the kitchen and getting back to cleaning. 

 

This was good for him. He was talking, sober, smiling. This was more of a change than Benny had dared hope for. He could only hope it would last.

 

Of course, it  _ wouldn’t _ . 

 

As soon as they walked out to the car, Dean seemed to shrink in on himself, and when they got back to the apartment, his false bravado had melted away entirely. The second they were inside, he sank onto the couch, curling into a tight ball, his entire body shaking. 

 

“Hey, Dean, are you okay?” Benny carefully sat next to the boy, putting a hand on his shoulder, hoping he came across as comforting. 

 

Dean let himself fall against Benny’s side, curling tightly against the larger man. Benny shifted, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders. “Hey, talk to me.”

 

Dean took a breath, trying to settle his shaking before replying, looking up at Benny with wide eyes. “Why me?” Benny’s brows furrowed in confusion, “why you what?”

 

“Why did you pick me? Why are you helping  _ me?  _ There are plenty of other people out there, I...I’ve… Peole want people who look like me. I’m young, I can keep going like I am, I make decent enough money. People have it worse. Why are you helping  _ me _ ?” 

 

Benny sighs, pulling Dean into his lap and resting his chin on the boy’s shoulder. “You’re more than… I… Honestly, Dean? I’m not sure. I saw something in you. Knew I could help you. Wanted to help you.” Dean blinked up at the older man, sagging against him. “Thank you,” he whispered, pressing his cheek into Benny’s shoulder. 

 

“No need to thank me, like I said,I’m doing this because I _ want  _ to,” he shrugged one shoulder, smiling craning his neck to meet the other man’s eyes. Dean blinked slowly, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to Benny’s lips, “still, thank you.” Before Benny could react, Dean had slid off his lap and was walking away. 

  
“I’m gonna take a shower… Benny, really… Thank you. For everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay heya guys, if you don't want details - I am busy, Samm is going to be helping, updates will be slower coming.
> 
> If you do - I recently started a late starting online human bio course, to state in other words, I have 10 weeks instead of 15 to learn everything in one of the hardest courses my college has. *quietly sobbing*   
> So, the lovely Samm(SammySammyDean, @yesmyqueen) is going to be helping us write, which is awesome because she's an amazing author, however!!  
> Sammy isn't comfortable posting anything until I've betaed for her, so updates will still be slower again.   
> I'm super sorry but, yeah, school comes first... Please bare with us we'll be doing our best, and they'll be picking up a lot of my slack so hopefully we should keep up some type of decent schedule. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! As always, we love feedback, and thanks for working with us here <3<3  
> ~KaitlynSpeight


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny talks to Dean about the kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank ya very much for the idea Sammy;)   
> ALSO FUCK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> BRACE YOURSELVES GUYS

Benny doesn’t have a chance to talk to Dean for another couple hours, and during that time he manages to think up every bad scenario in existence. Did Dean think he owed him something? Was Dean just going to try to get with him? Would it be harder than he thought to make Dean drop the habit of fucking when he wanted/needed something?

 

By the time he finally cornered the boy, he was nearly in a panic, not like he could show that to Dean. “Hey, can we talk?” He asked, knocking at Dean’s door, proud to say his hands were only  _ kind of  _ shaking.

 

“Yeah of course, Benny, what’s going on?” The door swung in to reveal Dean walking back towards his bed, flopping on his stomach and marking his place in the book he had evidently been reading. “I just.. You kissed me, and I…” Well, shit. He was a grown-ass man and he had apparently forgotten how to talk. 

 

“I did.” Dean confirmed, looking up at the older man obviously confused. “Did I do something wrong?” Benny hesitated, thinking about it. He hadn’t done anything  _ wrong _ , just confusing, and he hoped to god Dean hadn’t had the wrong intentions. 

 

“No, I just… why?” Dean sat up, cocking his head to the side, “I’m not good with words.” Was all he said, and Benny walked further into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and waving his hand, prompting Dean to continue. “I wanted to thank you, and show you how grateful I am… But I don’t have anything to give you, and I don’t know what to say, so I thought.. I’m sorry…” 

 

Dean curled in on himself and Benny clenches his fists. Damn. “No, don’t be sorry, I just.. I was nervous you thought… That you had to do something. That you owed it to me or something. You’ve made it quite clear I’m too old for you, so it threw me off.” 

 

Dean blushes, but relaxes fractionally, “I’m sorry about that, you’re...not old… I’m just an ass,” Benny chuckles, ruffling Dean’s hair. “We both know I’m old, kid, it’s fine.” Dean shakes his head, scooting closer to Benny, and Benny barely resisted the urge to move back. “You’re what, thirty-five, thirty-six?” 

 

“Seven” Benny mutters quietly, watching nervously as Dean settled himself closer, “I’m twenty-five.” He leaned closer still, and this time Benny  _ did  _ lean back, “hey, kiddo, what are you doing?” Dean blushes, drawing back. “I’m sorry, shit I’m sorry, uh… force of habit…” Benny closes his eyes, sighing. 

 

“Dean, look at me.” It takes him a moment, but eventually Dean manages to meet the older man’s gaze, “you don’t owe me anything. No offence, if I was looking for a fuck I would have paid like a normal customer, not opened my home to you and given you a job.” Dean blinked slowly up at him, and Benny pressed on, nails digging into his palm, “don’t get me wrong, you’re... “ he took a breath, god he sounded like an idiot.

 

“You’re very attractive,”  _ you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,  _ “but that’s not why I’m helping you.” Dean nods, “I know, really I do… Just… I’ve been… God you probably think I’m an ungrateful little shit. I don’t… know how to thank you. That’s why I kissed you I thought… Maybe… I don’t know. And it felt…” 

 

Dean sighs, drawing his knees to his chest, “I never kissed any of them, that was my rule, I haven’t kissed anyone since before Dad walked out. And with you… It felt right.” Benny nods, wrapping an arm around the boy, “it’s okay, shh, it’s okay, we’ll work on it. We’re fine. Just… No more kissing, okay? If you want to thank me just say it, or… hugging is fine.”

  
Dean smiles to himself, wrapping his arms tightly around Benny, “hugging I can do. Thank you.”


	8. Chapter 8

True to his word, Dean didn’t make anymore advances on Benny, and Benny almost managed to forget how Dean’s lips had felt on his. Almost. 

 

Just like he almost regretted telling Dean not to kiss him again. Almost.

 

But he would live, Dean was doing good at the restaurant, he was making friends, and on his time off he had started working at a garage. 

 

Benny was more comfortable leaving Dean to his own devices, and the boy, for the most part, was handling the change in lifestyle very well. 

 

It had only been a few weeks off the streets, but Dean looked healthier, happier, his hair was shining and there was a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. 

 

There were nights Benny could hear him crying quietly in his room, and days when he would call in sick and sit curled up in a blanket on the couch, but for the most part, he was good.

 

Until he wasn’t.

 

Benny wasn’t entirely sure what happened, Dean had gone out front to pick up the dishes of a family that had just left, and had come back shaking, begging Benny to take him home and not leave him alone. 

 

Of course, Benny did as he was asked, letting his staff know he would be gone the rest of the day and telling them to call his cell if they needed him, before driving them both home and helping Dean inside.

 

“Dean, hey, talk to me. What’s going on?” Benny murmured, holding a hand out to Dean once they were inside.

 

Dean just shook his head frantically, launching himself into Benny’s arms. “A man, at your restaurant. I knew him… before.” 

 

Benny held the shaking boy, brow furrowed in confusion, “you’ve seen a lot of people you knew before, I know, I had to kick some of them out.”

 

Dean sniffed, and Benny could feel hot tears soaking through his shirt, okay, absolutely not a time for jokes. “Oh, sweetheart, talk to me.”

 

Dean whimpers, nuzzling against Benny’s chest. “He… I didn’t want him, he scared me. Something about him just… I wouldn’t do it.” 

 

Benny nodded, smoothing a hand down Dean’s back, “it’s okay, I’ve gottcha, take your time,” he whispers when Dean stops talking. 

 

Dean takes a moment to collect himself, heaving a deep breath before pressing on. “He grabbed me when I left the bar, drugged me before I could do anything.

 

“When I woke up I… Was bloody and… It hurt. Everything hurt. I was covered in bruises, there were lash marks all over my back and.. my… uh… my ass… was all bloody and torn. 

 

“I have no idea what exactly he did, ‘t was kinda obvious he didn’t use lube… or prep me right… but I dunno.

 

“I woke up alone, ‘n one of the grossest motels I’ve seen… fuckin’ rat was biting my toe… I…”

 

His voice cut out, replaced with a sob, and he clung to Benny, nails digging into his back, painful even through his shirt.

 

Benny gently scooped the boy up in his arms, carrying them to the couch and letting Dean curl up in his lap. 

 

“Haven’t been tested, too scared. Make sure everyone wears a condom but I don’t… I don’t know if he gave me anything, don’ even know his name, but I’ll never forget his face.” 

 

Benny clenched his fists, trying to will the rage from his voice before talking, “did you tell the cops?” 

 

Dean shakes his head, “I was a pro. They wouldn’t do shit, wouldn’t care. ‘S all I was good for, just a hole to stuff.” 

 

Benny tightens his arms around Dean’s waist, “you are so much more than that, you know that, Dean.” 

 

Dean nods, sniffing weakly on Benny’s shoulder, “now.. but back then I was just a whore. No one would have cared… I just... “ He sighs, his sobs finally quieting.

 

“Could barely move for days, just curled up in an ally and didn’t leave. ‘M so lucky nothing got infected.” He pulled back enough to look at Benny with tearstained eyes. 

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Benny whispers, brushing the tears from Dean’s cheeks gently. “He won’t hurt you again, I’ll fucking kill him if he tries, okay? I’ve got you, I’m here.” 

 

Dean sniffs, hesitantly leaning forward, lips parted. 

 

Benny freezes, wide-eyes, and Dean’s eyes flick between his own and his lips. When Benny shows no sign of protest, Dean closes the last of the distance, pressing a wet kiss to his lips.

 

It takes him a moment, but Benny’s hands slowly find their way to Dean’s face, gently cupping his cheeks between his palms.

 

Dean rests his hands on Benny’s shoulders, slowly licking his way into his mouth, tears still dripping from his lashes between them. 

 

Benny shifts, cradling Dean’s head with one hand, grabbing Dean’s with the other, squeezing his fingers and letting Dean lead the kiss, take what he wanted. 

 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he should pull back, he knew Dean was emotional, and he wouldn’t be doing this otherwise. But he couldn’t bring himself to let the boy go, no matter how much he tried to remind himself how bad of an idea this was.

 

When Dean finally pulled back, they were both breathing heavily, and Dean’s tears had stopped entirely, but his eyes were haunted, dark. The light Benny had noticed in the past weeks vanishing. 

 

“What can I do?” Benny whispers, their foreheads still pressed together, hands gently holding Dean’s neck between this palms.

 

“Hold me, don’t leave me alone,” Dean whispers back, both of his hands pressed lightly to Benny’s chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat under his fingers. 

 

“I can handle that,” Benny closes his eyes, sighing as Dean shifts in his lap, curling up and pressing an ear to his heart. 

 

This was going to go down in flames, but damnit to hell, Benny was definitely willing to burn for this kid. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Benny have a very similar reaction to the kiss the next morning... maybe someone should tell them that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sammy translated this for me cause I wrote it was half asleep and totally incoherent, so if you like it, thank the moose!

Dean doesn’t know when he dozed off. When the violent tremors stopped shaking his body, when breath had returned to normal, but the next thing he knew, he was waking up in Benny’s bed, and there was light streaming through the window. The man himself was nowhere to be seen, though, and Dean could feel himself begin to panic.

 

He had kissed Benny. _Why_ had he kissed Benny? Why had Benny _kissed him back_?

 

He slowly dragged himself out of the blankets, finding himself in a pair of pajama pants and a thin tshirt rather than the jeans and flannel he had worn yesterday.

 

So Benny changed him as well. Lovely. He is _so_ unworthy of this man.

 

 _God_ that kiss. Just remembering it was enough to have him floating on air, which was absolutely _wrong_.

 

That could _not_ happen again. Benny was just being nice, letting him do what he wanted because he was upset, letting him take comfort where he could, there was no way Benny would let it happen again. He had made that much clear the first time Dean had tried to kiss him.

 

Benny deserved someone so much better than Dean, someone perfect, who would be able to give him the world.

 

Dean spends a while debating whether or not he wants to get up.

 

On one side, he’s in Benny’s bed, surrounded by the smell of him. On the other, Benny himself is probably somewhere in the apartment. Waiting to talk to him about what had happened. Gauge his mood. Shoot him down.

 

Stay in bed it is.

 

~

 

Benny wasn’t sure exactly _how_ he ended up in Dean’s room, much less why. He must be some sort of masochist.

 

Even though Benny had told Dean to do whatever he wanted, be it repaint or plaster the walls in posters, Dean hadn’t changed anything. The walls remained plain, the bed was neatly made, if he didn’t know better he would say there were no signs the room was lived in at all.

 

It was still undeniably Dean’s though, from the books on the shelves, to the neatly folded clothes he knew were in the wardrobe, to the scent that most definitely was not his own on the pillow he was currently hugging to his chest.

 

He couldn’t let himself slip up like that again. It was _not_ acceptable. Dean was...Dean. He was hurt, he had been used, shattered countless times, but still he trusted Benny. He was letting the older man in, he was letting him _help_ , and Benny couldn’t risk losing that trust. He _had_ to be a rock for the kid, was all he had.

 

No matter how amazing that kiss had been, how much he wished there could be more, he couldn’t. Dean was too young, too hurt, and would never want him, so Benny would put that first, respect that, but…

 

Right now, though, he could let himself wallow. Dean was still sleeping, and it’s not like the pillow would tell anyone if he cried. He could give himself this, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank ya muchly Sammoose<3  
> Marium, your angst begins! ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the babies finally get their faces bashed together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry we've been dead for so long! This chapter is pretty long so hopefully it makes up for our trash updating

It took Benny nearly two hours to reign himself in enough to get up and get started on their breakfast. Even then he had to hold his breath when he passed his own room, thinking back to the previous night.

 

He had spent hours holding Dean after he had fallen asleep, carried to his room and cradled him to his chest until the wee hours of the morning. He had only left when he felt Dean stirring. He knew the younger man had asked him not to leave him alone, but… wouldn’t it be worse to wake up next to the man who took advantage of you? Who kissed you when he knew you were at your weakest point and just needed support?

 

He couldn’t do that to the poor man, not after everything he had been through. So instead he snuck off and curled up on Dean’s bed. He managed to sleep for an hour or two, it didn’t really matter, he figured they’d both be blowing off work for the day anyway.

 

By the time Dean came into the kitchen, Benny had managed to calm himself down significantly. Dean, on the other hand, looked like he had been crying for hours. Benny couldn't find it in himself to say anything, and instead just handed the boy a plate of waffles. "I called us both in, you feeling any better?" 

 

Dean shrugged, picking at the food, "I guess... Thank you for... Yesterday." Benny flinched, Dean was thanking him? Why? He had done nothing to deserve to be thanked, he had taken advantage when Dean was vulnerable, Dean deserved so much better. How could he do this to the poor man? He brushed it off, ruffling the boy’s hair, "no need to thank me."

 

Dean peeked up at him, sniffing, "yea, there is. No one's ever been there for me and..." He trails off, looking away, "what?" Benny prompts, cocking  his head to the side when Dean doesn't continue. 

 

"I just... Thank you. I'm sorry I forced myself on you." Benny's eyes widen at that, staring at the boy, "you... forced yourself on... me?" He stuttered, cupping his hand under Dean's chin. "I think you got that backwards, kiddo." Dean shook his head, fresh tears springing to his eyes, and before he can think better of it, Benny kisses them away.

 

"I wanted to kiss you." Benny whispered, half hoping Dean won't hear him, "so don't think you made me do something I didn't already want." That had Dean staring up at him, "you did?" Benny nods, blushing, "I did. Pretty much since the last time you kissed me, but not for the same reasons that you-" he's cut off by a pair of lips smashing against his.

 

This time the kiss is desperate, hungry, and Benny can't find it in himself to pull away. When Dean jumps up to wrap his legs around Benny's waist, though, Benny hesitates, slowly withdrawing. "I think we should talk before we fall into bed, this isn't exactly a normal situation." Dean blushes, looking away, and Benny gently turns his head back, meeting the younger's eyes. "Hey, talk to me, what is it?" 

 

Dean hesitates for a minute, gazing into Benny's understanding eyes, "I don't... Think I'll be falling into bed with anyone. Now that I don't have to, I don't... I don't think I want to." Benny thinks for a minute, "you mean you're asexual?" Dean blushes, Benny shouldn't be able to put it so easily, he was a freak,  _ but  _ Benny looked so calm. He nodded.

 

"That's more than fine, sweetheart," he whispers, kissing the worry line on Dean's brow. "You... really don't care?" Dean asks, shaking slightly, and wrapping his arms around Benny's waist. "Of course I don't, now, do you want breakfast?" Dean nods shyly against Benny's chest, and Benny grabs a plate, walking them both to Benny's room. 

 

"Are you sure this is... okay?" Dean asks shyly, curling up against Benny's side. "Of course it is, it's my house." Benny chuckles, taking a forkful of waffle and offering it to Dean, "anyway, I think you could use the extra rest." Dean opens his mouth, accepting the food with a contented sigh. "Yeah, alright, thanks." 

 

Benny offered him another bite, smiling, "don't thank me yet, we still have to talk after this." Dean smiles, nuzzling himself  closer to Benny’s side and accepting the food that’s held to his lips. “I would expect nothing less.” 

 

They finish the rest of the waffles the same way, Dean taking the bites he’s offered and Benny stroking a hand through his hair every once in a while, keeping him calm, grounded. “So,” Benny coaxes  when they finish their breakfast. “So what?” Dean peeks up at him, blushing furiously.

 

“Where does this leave us?” Benny is absolutely not going to make assumptions, and he sure as hell isn’t going to corner Dean into something the boy isn’t comfortable with… but... He can hope that Dean maybe,  _ possibly  _ has some of the same feelings he does.

 

Dean hesitates, shifting himself up onto Benny’s lap and curling up against his chest. “I don’t really know..I know I would like to be allowed to kiss you whenever I want and… curl up in bed with you?” Benny chuckles, Dean was still one of the most innocent people he knew, after everything he’d been through he didn’t he didn’t have a clue about real relationships.

 

“I’m a little old for you, you know.” Dean looks up at him and Benny fondly strokes his cheek, “I don’t care.” Dean whispers, eyes locked on Benny’s, and the older man can’t help but lean in a press a brief kiss to his lips. “Then I’m all yours.” He murmurs, drawing back and cupping Dean’s cheek in his palm.

 

Dean turned his head enough to press a kiss to Benny’s hand, smiling shyly up at the older man. “And I’m all yours,” this time Dean is the one to lean in for a kiss, licking into Benny’s mouth and straddling his hips. 

 

Benny gently pushes him away, “Dean, really, it’s okay if you don’t want to. I want  _ you  _ not sex.” Dean blushed, taking a deep breath. “I want to try with… someone who cares about it… About me. It might… might be different.” Benny nods slowly, gauging Dean’s posture. He seems nervous, but not terrified. His posture is mostly relaxed, not like he’s forcing himself to do this…

 

“If you want to stop, you have to tell me, I don’t care what we’re doing. Just tell me.” Dean nods, wrapping his arms around Benny’s neck, “I promise, I can do that.” Benny nods, flipping them over and laying Dean on his back, gently kissing his cheeks and nose. 

 

“I’d say we’re moving a little fast, but you tried to get into my pants the day you met me.” Benny teases, and Dean squirms, his cheeks burning, “shut up and fuck me, old man.” Benny doesn’t answer, just slowly pulls off Dean’s shirt and his own, before planting a careful kiss to Dean’s lips. 

 

He wasn’t entirely sure Dean  _ would  _ tell him when to stop, so he kept a careful gauge on the boy’s body language. Relaxed, green light. He rolls his hips against Dean, freezing when Dean tenses. He relaxes quickly, though, and reaches to tug down Benny’s sweats, groaning into the kiss. 

 

Benny draws back, kissing and sucking a trail down Dean’s neck, wriggling out of his sweats and tugging off Dean’s. “God you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, and Dean squirms, tensing up. “Dean if you want to st-”

 

“No! Please just… I want this,” Benny nods slowly, kissing a trail down Dean’s stomach and pressing a kiss to the head of his cock. Dean squeezes his eyes shut, fisting the sheets, and Benny hesitates. “Benny, please.” Dean’s voice is strained, tight, “please don’t stop.”

 

“Hey, cher, look at me. I’ve got you, I’m not gonna hurt you, alright?” Benny takes Dean’s hand in his, gently rubbing the other hand down his flank until the boy relaxes. “You’re okay,” Benny murmurs, sucking the head of Dean’s cock into his mouth, dropping his hand to trace a finger around his hole.

 

“No! No stop, please stop,” Dean thrashes under him, sobbing, and Benny withdraws immediately, gathering the shaking boy into his arms. “Cher, baby, I’ve got you, you’re safe. We’re done, it’s fine.” Dean whimpers, nuzzling himself against Benny’s chest, “I’m sorry, I’m  _ so  _ sorry.” Benny shushes him smoothing his hair and peppering his face with kisses.

 

“I told you, I want you, not sex. It’s okay, sweetheart, don’t cry, I’ve got you.” Dean slowly relaxes in his arms, rubbing his cheek against Benny’s bare chest, “thank you for stopping.” Benny freezes, tensing up as he stares down at the boy in his arms. 

 

“Dean, I need you to look at me,” he waits until Dean does as he’s told, slowing blinking his eyes open and peeking up at Benny through wet lashes. “I will never,  _ ever, _ make you do something you don’t want to. You don’t have to thank me for that, if you say stop, and I  _ don’t  _ listen? I want you to deck me as hard as you can.”

  
Dean smiles weakly, nodding, “I trust you.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy cuddles and Dean picking his life up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright a few things at the end of the chapter so stay tuned ~

It takes a couple days for everything to go back to normal, Dean has sporadic panic attacks for weeks after the run in, and every time, Benny is there to hold him. 

 

They don’t bother trying to go back to the bedroom again. At first, that thought freaks Dean out, it was like they weren’t a real couple, but Benny shows him other ways they can be together. 

 

Lazy kisses on the couch after dinner, holding each other through the night, dancing around the house together and sharing meals.

 

Eventually, Dean settled into a routine, falling into a pattern of work, eat, sleep, Benny, repeat.

 

He started working more at the garage and less at the diner - putting all his free time into restoring some old cars his boss had assigned him - and was usually home well before Benny.

 

At first Benny was nervous about Dean spending so much time alone, not because he didn’t trust him, he just didn’t want to not be around if Dean needed him, but the time alone seemed to be doing Dean more good than harm, so he stopped worrying too much. 

 

After a handful of weeks of the new schedule, Benny came home to find Dean  _ singing  _ and dancing around the kitchen cooking ...something that smelled extremely burnt, but he couldn’t bring himself to care when he caught the look on Dean’s face.

 

“What’s got you so smiley, darlin’?” Benny drawled, dragging Dean into his arms and pulling him into a kiss before letting him go. 

 

“You know the old impala I’ve been working on?” Dean hummed, turning back to the stove and stirring whatever it was he was cooking.

 

“Yeah, ya never shut up ‘bout ‘er,” Benny teased, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. 

 

“Well, I finished today, was kinda moping around ‘cause I didn’t want to sell her, and Rufus said I could have her. Said he’d never seen someone bond so much with a car and would hate to break us up.”

 

Benny smiled brightly, pressing a kiss to the back of Dean’s neck, “that’s awesome sugar,” he smiled, “you’re gonna have to show me this car, wanna know what’s been stealing my boy from me,” he chuckled. 

 

“She’s in the garage, if you wanna go look.” Dean hummed, leaning back against Benny’s warm chest. 

 

It was easy, getting used to the almost constant touching when Benny was around, the absent stroking of his hair or a gentle hand on his knee. It was almost like Benny wasn’t even aware he was doing it, just always needed to be touching him. It was nice. Safe.

 

“Nah, I want a proper tour, you can show me after… dinner?” He peeked over Dean’s shoulder, trying to guess what exactly it was he was making.

 

“I’ve uh…. Never cooked before so this is probably shit but I uh… tried that new recipe you made…”

 

Dean blushed, and Benny tightened his arms around him. “I’m sure it’s gonna be delicious,” he hummed, kissing his cheek. “How long till it’s ready?”

 

“Maybe fifteen minutes.”

  
“I’m gonna go wash up, then,” Benny murmured, kissing his neck before drawing back and heading for the shower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I'm sorry we've been dead, but classes are out for me, and Samm's no longer deathly ill so this should be back on schedule  
> 2) This chapter is super short and uneventful and I'm very sorry about that but also this is absolutely the calm before the storm so embrace the fluff while you have it  
> 3) We have officially planned this all the way to the end, that being said it took a much darker turn than any of us really expected so I will be updating the tags as we go and listing trigger warnings at the beginnings of chapters as they become applicable, they will mainly stay within the selfharm/non-con/PTSD area so keep that in mind  
> 4) This WILL still have a happy ending
> 
> As always thank you so much for sticking with us, feedback is always appreciated <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Samm wrote this, I'm sorry  
>  ~Kaitlyn

Dean wasn’t used to driving home without Benny, he had been doing it for months, but it still felt wrong. He liked sitting in the passenger seat, a warm hand on his knee, he had gotten used to it. 

 

It was worse when it was dark. He knew what freaks were out this time of night, he had seen it first hand. Hell, he had  _ been  _ one of those creeps lurking in the shadows, but he had stayed late to work on a car, and here he was. 

 

He jumped when his phone started buzzing in the seat next to him,  _ never opened myself this way, life is ours, we live it our way, all these words I don’t just sa-  _ “hey babe.” Dean smiled, relaxing back into his seat as Benny’s voice washed over him. 

 

“Hey, angel, it’s getting late. You on your way home yet?”

 

Dean hummed, “yeah, I’m on my way, maybe another five minutes.”

 

Benny sighed, “alright, ‘ve gotten used to you being here before me, miss you.”

 

“Miss you too, babe I’ll-” his car lurched violently and he grunted, slamming on the breaks. “Shit, I think I hit something,” he grumbled, unbuckling and hopping out. 

 

“You alright? Want me to come pick you up?” Benny asked nervously, and Dean could practically see him fidgeting on the couch.

 

“Nah,” he hummed, looking under the car. “Think it was just a pothole ‘r something, there’s nothing here.”

 

“Just get back in the car, Dean,” Benny muttered.

 

“Yeah, yeah old man I’ll-” he grunted as a sharp pain jolted through his skull.

 

“Dean? Dean?! Are you okay?!” Benny’s voice sounded far away, and he watched with detached interest as his phone fell to the pavement. 

 

Another sharp throb of pain and everything went black.

 

~!~!~!~

 

“Mmm… Benny?” Dean groaned, slowly blinking his eyes open. His head was  _ throbbing,  _ but that took a back seat to the ache everywhere else. “Where am I… what happened?” He asked slowly, trying to sit up.

 

“I wouldn’t try moving,” a dark voice purred, just as Dean felt cold metal biting into his wrist. 

 

“Where the hell am I, what did you do?” Dean hissed, snapping to his senses and  straining against the bonds.

  
“Nothing, yet, just reminding you where your place is. Once a slut, always a slut.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was wondering, Benny's resturant is The Mug Shot Diner (thank you so much to [the bae](http://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightDragon/pseuds/StarlightDragon) for the name)
> 
> Also YES WE ARE ALIVE I am hoping to (don't quote me on this) have this finished within the next week? Maybe? That's my goal at least?

Benny can honestly say he’d never been more scared in his life. The second the call had disconnected he was out the door, speeding down the road in the direction he knew Dean would have been driving. 

 

He barely made it five miles before he saw something on the road and slammed the breaks, climbing out. Dean’s phone. Smashed to bits on the pavement. He looked around for a minute, and when he didn’t see anything else dug out his own phone and called the police. 

 

Technically you couldn’t report a missing person for forty-eight hours, but he had some friends on the force, they might be able to help him out. If nothing else they might help him figure out where to start himself. 

 

And anyway, after that phone call he was almost positive it was more a kidnapping than a missing person anyway, although he wasn’t sure if that would change anything. Especially without proof. 

 

Either way, he relayed everything he knew to Jody, who promised she’d do everything she could, and kneeled down on the asphalt, cuddling Dean’s phone to his chest. 

 

He had expected shit to go down when he started dating a former prostitute, of course he had, how could he not? But never something to this extent, never Dean vanishing into thin air. When he had been on the phone with him no less. 

 

He could feel the panic swelling in his chest, but no, he had to stay calm. For Dean’s sake. 

 

He thought back to everything he knew about the kid, but the only thing that was coming to the forefront of his memory was the shady rapist Dean had been panicking about for months. Who had been to his restaurant. Which meant he’d signed the roster Benny used to keep track of frequent customers. 

 

Without another thought Benny was back in the car, phone pressed to his ear. Okay, so he had lied. He had taken in one other rebel before Dean, to a much lesser extent though. Just gave her a job that paid well enough that she wouldn’t have to hack into people’s bank accounts. 

 

Currently, though, he was regretting making her stop her `extracurricular` time on the internet.

 

“What is it bossman? Isn’t it a bit late for-”

 

“I need a hacker. Meet me at The Mug.”

 

Charlie scoffed into her phone, “wasn’t quitting that my whole reason for  _ starting _ at your restaurant?”

 

“Charlie Celeste Bradbury if you are not there in five minutes so help me-”

 

“Alright, alright, I’ll be there.”

 

Benny hung up, carelessly tossing his phone into the passenger seat. If Charlie could search up everyone that had been there the night Dean had seen his rapist, maybe he could find the creep. It was somewhere to start at least, and hell knows he couldn’t just sit around. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic depictions of rape

God bless Charlie Bradbury. It only took her a couple of hours to run all the names against police records before she he picked out the only two with a violent criminal history, and only one seemed capable of what Dean had described.  

 

After that it only took her a few minutes to find every address ever associated with him.If Benny wasn’t so worried about Dean he could kiss her. 

 

But he would also need some sort of police involvement before breaking into some dudes house on a whim, and according to Charlie he was dead on his feet, wouldn’t be any help to Dean this way. 

 

So after a huge screaming match in the waiting area, he agreed to catch a nap while she got everything ready, figuring it would be faster than to continue wasting time fighting. 

 

~!~!~!~

 

Dean whimpered, too far gone for words. He was barely aware of what was happening to him anymore, had no idea how much time had passed, in too much pain to care. 

 

“Please stop. Please,” he begged, cowering against the post behind him. 

 

“Oh we’re just getting started, princess,” the man hissed,grabbing Dean’s hair and throwing him to the floor. 

 

Dean yelped barely managing to catch himself before his face plowed into the cold concrete. “Please- sir. It hurts, just a break, please.” He winced as - what he hoped was come - dripped down his thigh. Everything hurt. He was covered in every bodily fluid there was. He just wanted to go home. He wanted Benny. 

 

“Since you asked so nicely, I’ll give that poor little pussy of yours a break. Open.” 

 

Dean whimpered, but let his mouth fall open. He had tried resisting, it only lead to more pain. If he went with it at least it would be over quicker. 

 

“Think this is the last round I’ve got in me for now, sugar, be good and I’ll feed you before I head out.”

 

Dean was about to nod when a thick cock was shoved down his throat. 

 

He could bite down, it would be easy, but then what? No one knew where he was, the chains on his wrists and ankles would still be locked, the man would probably kill him before he bled out…. So he just let him take what he wanted, praying it would be over soon.

 

“That’s it princess, fucking made to suck my cock weren’t you.”

 

Dean blocked out his voice, focusing on pulling out every trick he knew to get this over with. 

 

“Fuck, that’s a good boy,” the John groaned as he came, coating Dean’s face, “good boys get lunch. Clean yourself up.”

 

Dean scrambled for the filthy towel he had been given and scrubbed himself dry. He was a little worried by how much blood was on it by the time he was done but there wasn’t exactly anything he could do. 

 

After another moment the man threw a sandwich at him. It was covered in dirt and frankly disgusting, but who knows when he’d be fed again, so he scarfed it down and curled himself into a ball, finally letting the tears come. 

 

Benny would find him. He was sure he would, he’d been through worse, anyway, he could endure this.


	15. Chapter 15

By the time Benny woke up from his (apparently much needed) nap, Charlie had called everyone she could think of to help.

 

And still had nothing.

 

Without any sort proof that this man - Luke - had taken Dean, there was nothing anyone could really do. 

 

“I don’t care, I’m goin’,” Benny grumbled, as soon as Charlie gave him the news. 

 

“Ben I know you’re worried but we can’t ju-”

 

“I’m going.”

 

“You can’t help him if you get arrested for breaking into the wrong dude’s house.” Charlie reasoned, and that had Benny deflating slightly. 

 

“Help me, then. Distract him while I snoop around. Please, Char.”

 

Charlie hesitated for only a moment before nodding, “you’ve got it, boss man, let’s get your guy back.”

 

~

 

Dean curled up tighter in his place on the floor. He couldn’t have been gone long, the weak light seeping in from under the drawn blind meant it was likely morning… twelve hours, maybe, he’d been through worse. He’d gotten out of worse, why the hell was he cowering, the man had left.

 

He looked around the empty cellar, nothing except the pole he was chained to and his towel, nothing useful. The chains were too tight to hope to wiggle out of, unless he felt like ripping off his thumb, but if he could find something, anything, he might be able to get the padlock open. 

 

But there was nothing.

 

He groaned, hissing in pain as he rolled over and felt around on the floor for anything he could possibly use, couldn’t hurt at least. 

 

At the sound of a knock at the door he cowered back against his pole, taking a moment to wonder if maybe it was a trap before screaming as loud as his torn throat would allow. 

 

The sound of a door breaking put the last of his fears to bed  and he kept screaming,bursting into tears the second Benny came into sight, immediately running to his side and pulling at the chain. “Oh sweetheart… My poor baby…”

 

Dean nuzzled against him, taking a ragged breath before pulling back. “These fuckers are solid, go find me a paperclip or something, I can get the lock.”

 

Benny hesitated, gently touching his cheek. “I don’ wanna-”

 

“You can’t very well will them away. Go on, I’m fine… For now… When we get home you’re holding me for a week.”

 

Benny laughed wetly, kissing him softly and nodding. “Okay… okay I’ll be righ’ back.”

 

Dean watched him go, sagging back against the pole and taking a deep breath. He was safe, he’d be going home, everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be perfectly honest with y'all, I'm the only one writing this anymore (kaitlynspeight) and I'm not digging it, it's been super triggering every time I look at it lately and... eh.   
> So like, I plan on finishing it, but I can't guarantee good writing since I don't really have it in me to proofread. I'll try to come back and fix it up at a later date, but for now at least you'll get everything wrapped up


	16. Chapter 16

Dean relaxed to the sound of Benny frantically scrabbling around outside of his cell, focusing on his breathing and doing his best to ignore the aching throb coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. 

 

He jumped at the sound of a crash, then a shout and muffled voices. He whined, pressing himself back into the poll and squeezing his eyes shut and rocking himself as best he could, but when someone slips through the door, it’s not someone he recognizes, but the little red head doesn’t look particularly threatening, either.

 

“Dean, I’m with Benny, not gonna hurt you…”

 

Dean snorted, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t know what Ben told you, but I’m not that breakable. Is he okay?”

 

The girl nodded, hurrying to his side and carefully picking the lock. “He’s fine, woulda felt bad for the other guy if I didn’t know he was a creepy pedo rapist.” She smiled softly, shrugging out of her hoodie and handing it to him. “Sorry, it’s small but it’s something at least…”

 

Dean blushed, nodding and covering himself with the hoodie. “Y-yeah thanks, sorry I uh- didn’t really have much of a choice.”

 

The girl shook her head, smiling softly and taking his hand. “Nothing to apologize for, let’s get you out to the car… Name’s Charlie, by the way.”

 

Dean nodded, biting his lip and trying to catch a glimpse of Benny as Charlie dragged him through the house and outside. “Where is he..? What happened..?”

 

Charlie ushered him into the car, wrapping the emergency blanket around his shoulders. “I was supposed to be on look out but Luke- creepy pedo rapist apparently has a name- shoved passed me and Benny looked like I just gave him the best Christmas present ever so I let him have it. Cops are already on the way.”

 

“What if he gets hurt? I’ve gotta-” Dean struggled out of Charlie’s grip and tried to run back to the house, only to get dragged back after only two steps.

 

“Benny can take care of himself kid, if I let you go in there it’s my ass he’s coming for next, so siddown. The cops’ll be here in no time and Benny gets his chance to beat the shit out of the creep.”

 

Dean whined, but complacently sank back into his seat at the sound of sirens in the distance. “Fine…” 

 

Thankfully, Dean doesn’t have to wait much longer before Benny’s jogging out the front door and gently pulling him into a hug. “Don’ you fucking scare me like that again, got it?” 

 

Dean nodded, sobbing against his neck and clinging onto his shirt. “I’m s-sorry… I’m sorry, I was so scared, I thought I lost you…”

 

Benny shook his head, gently pulling him into a kiss. “I’ll always save you, cher.”

 

Dean choked, nuzzling against his neck. “Don’t leave… Please don’t leave…”

 

Benny held him tighter, gently kissing his head. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart, gonna take care of you, just like always, yeah?”

 

Dean nodded, sniffing weakly. “M-marry me..?”

 

Benny paused for a moment before continuing his gently petting of Dean’s bruised back. “Ya mean that?”

 

Dean nodded again, balling his fists in the back of Benny’s shirt. “Wanna marry you, wanna be Dean Lafitte and f-forget all this.. D-don’t wanna be me anymore, wanna be n-normal and safe and… and yours…”

 

Benny gently pulled him into a kiss, brushing his tears from his cheeks. “Of course, sweetheart, all mine… You’re safe now, I’ll never let anything hurt you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry this was so abrupt, but it really has been difficult to work on... I might come back and work on this again when I'm in a better place, but for now, at least it's wrapped up and everyone's safe

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with us!  
> KaitlynSpeight: the-queen-unitato.tumblr.com  
> 1967PotterImpala: blueeyedcastiel.tumblr.com  
> SammySammyDean: yesmyqueen.tumblr.com


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